Guess what I discovered today? It's a special place where you can borrow books! That's right, I got a library card for the first time in decades. I had to pay $1 for losing my card, which was a fine mustard yellow one from the 1980s which wouldn't have worked anyway.
I had to figure out how to use a library again. For one thing, forget those microfiche things. Now you just look on the computer. You can even reserve books from the comfort of your own home using the Internet.
This library thing is so awesome.