Friday, September 7, 2007

It's kind of like I foretold the future

When I was young, one of our favorite pastimes was playing with the video camera. I once wrote, directed, produced and starred in a masterpiece called "The Poopy Murder." Long story short, a dog kills people with his feces. This may sound gross to you, but I cannot help it if I was born into the Vines family.

Recently, I was thinking about cat poop. Mainly because there is a lot of it when I clean the litter boxes. I scoop it into plastic grocery bags and throw it away. But it's always bothered me how those bags supposedly take 100 years to biodegrade. What does this mean for your cat doo-doo? It means it sits and petrifies for a century instead of, well, going away. I want it to just go away.

I envision this new film I may need to make called "The Poopy Mountain." It takes place in the future, where everything is grim and gray -- not the other future, where everyone wears robes and lives in ignorant bliss because the government has mastered mind control -- (some may say I watch too many sci-fi movies. I'm especially partial to ones from the 1970s. And, I might add, I look forward to the future where tight, uncomfortable clothes are a thing of the past. Imagine wearing a robe to work!).

In "The Poopy Mountain," everyone has been throwing their dog and cat feces away in plastic bags that have not biodegraded and mountains of this stuff are piling up. We have to live on the mountains of doo and we don't like it very much.

Soooooo, I looked for an alternative. I thought, "couldn't there be a biodegradable bag that will allow all this cat caca to go back to the earth and away from me?"

Lo and behold, there is. It's called Biobag and it composts quickly, but it does give you a chance to get the bag to the trash and have your garbage picked up. It's not that quick.

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