Sunday, June 17, 2007

Amy, this one's for you.

Roaches, roaches everywhere. I can't go on like this. There have been two roaches in my bedroom in two days. I can't get up to pee in the middle of the night because I'm scared I'll step on one. I'm sure they are crawling all over my face at night. I have two mysterious bites, and although I have never heard of roaches biting, I bet they are roach bites. Which means they are in the bed with me. I may end up like that guy in that episode of "Creepshow."

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I dedicate this post to Amy, who was always there for me when I lived in a bug infested apartment in Bakersfield. Any time of night or day, I could call her for sympathy and shrieking about my bug woes. Like when a roach and I danced barefoot in the kitchen, me wondering with every hop whether we'd land in the same place at the same time with a giant squish. When I felt it's squiggly little legs running across my foot, Amy screamed with me over the phone as I recounted the horror.
Or the time when I found a bag of birdseed in my kitchen that was filled with googleplex insects. I saw a few and put it in a garbage bag and tied it up while I cleaned the cabinet. When I looked at the bag a little later, the inside was swarming with thousands of insects that were trapped inside.
Amy, you were always there for me.


Susana said...

Gross-o-Rama! I hate cockroaches! I get the heebie-jeebies just typing the word! We call an organic pest control company which I beleive uses stuff like boric acid, etc. Anyway, they are just horrible! When I find one dead, my almost five year old comes to the rescue and sweeps it up and dumps it out. I feel for you, I really do. That Amy soundsd like a real pal! My version of Amy is my friend Sonia. When I lived in Kansas for a year, I could not open my front door because there was a gigantic unidentifiable bug on the knob and after 20 minutes of squirming I finally went to pick up Sonia so she could get rid of it for me, so I could finally enter the apartment!:)

Amy said...

i wish i could read this post over and over again, since i love things that feature me. but after just one look at the roaches on that dude's face, the image is burned into my brain forever. thanks, robyn! (p.s. joe's apartment, worst movie idea ever. are you with me?)

Robyn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robyn said...

Yeah, Amy, any idiot who would make an entire movie about bugs deserves to drown in a bathtub of raid.

Susana, I would have left my stuff at the apartment, driven to the next state and started over from scratch.

Mara said...

Awww, sorry to hear about the roaches! I understand completely - when I lived in NYC I shared an apartment with a super slob, and she would never let the building spray our room was ringed in boric acid.

In fact, ha ha, I'm finishing up a minidress influenced by the "roach" dress in Hairspray. :)