Christmas

Yes, yes, we are all over Christmas, aren't we? It's Jan. 7, after all. But I haven't posted in a while and thought I'd better give you a very important update on what Brock got for Christmas so you can all stop holding your breath.

First up were these really cool talking dinos. They talk to each other!

This was the first gift he opened. I loved his reaction. First he's like, "What's this stupid box covered in paper?" Then we start tearing the paper off ...



Then there's the excited dino reax



And the dino used as vaccum




I got him an Alphaberry, which has lots of buttons with the letters of the alphabet on them and a small screen. It also reads the letters to him. He immediately thought it was his own cell phone and nearly had a heart attack.

He also got a tool bench, but he's not that interested in that. Like father, like son, I guess.

I later regretted not bothering to wash or style my hair because I look atrocious in most of the Christmas photos. I was too busy worrying about getting a turkey dinner on the table. This photo was the least offensive.

Brock's aunt and grandma got him a Cars big wheel. It doesn't even matter that he can't reach the pedals. It has an awesome dashboard that makes lots of noises, so just sitting on it is the bomb.

Christmas is immediately followed by Mark's birthday.

Mark's friend came over and his son and Brock were in serious agreement about something or another:



All in all a merry holiday season here.

Christmas house of horrors

You know those houses in magazines or on everyone else's blogs that look really beautiful at Christmas time? Well, not our house. My husband's motto is "The tackier the better." But, it's not really his motto because he doesn't think it's tacky.

I wanted to share a few of my annoyances. First up is the bride and groom. Mark has a Christmas Village, which conveniently becomes a Winter Village after Christmas when it's February and I want him to take it down. "It's not a CHRISTMAS village. It's a WINTER village, so it can stay up through March."

One year, I wanted to be supportive of his love for gaudy holiday decor, and, really, the ChristmasWinter village isn't that bad, so I bought him this bride and groom. It was to represent us and our true love. And he quickly banished them from his village. BANISHED THEM!!! Why, you ask? Well, because they aren't wearing coats and it's winter, so that's TOTALLY UNREALISTIC.

Above, they are standing by the paper towels because Mark is allowing me to look at them but they can't go near the village.

My ass they can't.

But he has a point about the village being realistic. I mean, don't most places have gigantic pine cones that are the size of a cow?

Doesn't everyone eat gingerbread cookies half as big as their own bodies?

Aren't all of our doors half as tall as we are, or roughly the size of a gingerbread cookie? Aren't they? Aren't they?

So, yes, I do think the romantic couple have a place here. No they don't have coats because maybe they are going to take wedding photos and the bride couldn't find a cute furry stole to put over her gown. I have, of course, added the bride and groom to the village and we shall see how long it takes him to notice that I have ruined everything.

**UPDATE before I even posted!!! I went to take a picture of the lovebirds, because these pics have been sitting on my camera for a while. They are gone! Gone, people. I'm busted, and it almost feels even worse that he didn't say anything.**

So, now I'd like to talk about Evil Santa.

He's got the creepiest face, and I don't think Mark is particularly attached to him, but I'm scared of him. I'm genuinely frightened of him. I don't think you can get the vibes I get from him when you're just viewing on the computer. He's scary. He's Chuckylicious. He's going to murder me if I try to throw him away. He will keep reappearing in odd places after I put him in the trash bin outside. He will torment me and then he will kill me, so I just lovingly place him on the tree each year. Last year after Christmas, he ended up in a clear bin of ornaments, somehow facing out right where I could see him all year, just staring at me in the garage. *shudder*

"Nothing says Christmas like Muhammad Ali!" Those are the words I utter each Christmas as I pull out what is now my favorite ornament. But what is better than good ol' Cassius Clay on the tree?

Good ol' Cassius Clay in the ChristmasWinter village! Oh, Mark's gonna be pissed! It will be awesome.

So, just for fun, here are a few short videos of the more annoying Christmas decorations we've got around the house. Funny, my dad and stepmom can be thanked for most of these. Therefore, I have specifically banned any new annoying decorations this year. To which my stepmom replied, "But if Mark sees anything over here that he wants, I can't say no!" At which point I started discreetly yet desperately looking around their house for things I needed to stuff under a couch cushion.

If you want the full effect of this one, please turn up your speakers as loud as they will go.







I had another video, but it mysteriously disappeared.

One thing our decor DOES have going for it, though, is our beautiful 12 foot Christmas tree. Although it's a pain to set up, it IS pretty awesome. And one thing that I love about it is that all the ornaments are, for the most part, different. It's not one of those trees where all of the ornaments are, say, red and gold balls. The ornaments are wonderful because each one is a special little treasure, many with special memories to go with them.

It's hard to even get a picture of the whole tree because it's so tall. As the years have passed, the built-in lights have failed, but we just add our own. And the ornaments on the bottom are not so well-distributed because one wee elf takes them off and then they just get stuck back on wherever is convenient.

I have been sitting on this post for days because I just didn't have an ending. I still don't. But it's got to end anyway. Goodbye. And Merry Christmas.

Funky elf stockings

This week, my post on Warehouse Fabrics Inc.'s blog is about these funky, super-cute elf stockings in fun fabrics that give your Christmas decor a little edge.



I also included a few notes on applique, in case you're intimidated.
(Don't be :) )

Merry Christmas! Have some raw turkey and gravy that looks like vomit!

Most Christmases are hectic for me. Some years I have to work. Even when I don't, I need to visit my dad, mom, grandma and mother-in-law. Trying to balance everything is exhausting. This year, my in-laws went to visit family in California, and I didn't have to work. I saw the opportunity to have my first-ever at-home Christmas as an adult. I decided to cook a turkey dinner, since that's what my mother-in-law always does and it's important to my husband. Also, we missed Thanksgiving this year because we were in Mexico.

I planned ahead and did the proper research about how long the turkey would need to thaw in the fridge. I researched how long to cook it, but this didn't help much because every single source gave me an entirely different answer. (I have, for the record, made several delicious and successful turkeys.)

My husband likes the giblets and his mom always uses them in the gravy. I find this disgusting, but I don't really eat gravy anyway except on fake mashed potatoes at fast-food restaurants. I found my cat trying to get the giblets in the bag in the sink, so I went ahead and dumped the bag into some water to boil them. Then I made my husband cut them up. But here, when they boiled over, was the first gross moment of my cooking adventure.



Still with me? It stays bad.

The turkey was in for four hours and I did use a thermometer to check the temperature, but I must have not stuck it in the right place or deep enough. When we had everything else ready and cut into the turkey, it was very much uncooked. I couldn't accept it. I was so upset. "It can't be!" I wailed. I was about to cry. Everyone (my mom, grandma and husband) said, "it's OK." "IT'S NOT OK!!!!!" I said. It wasn't. I spent $25 on that turkey. I planned everything for a week. I got up extra early to put it in. All I wanted was a simple, relaxing Christmas. The final solution was to cut pieces off and microwave them so we could eat right away. I got past my tears and got to work on the gravy.

The gravy. I had made it before because my mother-in-law is bent on teaching me. I do want to learn, but I couldn't remember how. So I turned to my trusty friend Betty Crocker. I poured out the drippings, but there was something rather solid crusted onto the pan, and we weren't sure if we were supposed to use it in the gravy. I know my MIL uses all the crap in the bottom of the pan. I found out that my mom, a very good cook, actually never learned to make gravy. We were both gravy novices, and soon things became disastrous. First, I was to take two tablespoons of the fat off the drippings, and discard the rest of the fat. Only I couldn't tell any fat from any drippings. The whole thing ended up in the pan. We kept adding flour and water and trying to break up that stuff in the pan. My grandma came over and tried to salvage our mess but couldn't. We ended up with something you may accurately describe as "lumpy," I suppose. My husband noted that one could use a fork to eat it.





So we didn't really have gravy, and the turkey was microwaved. We tested my oven temperature accuracy, and it's fine. I think that high altitude played a role, and perhaps the turkey was slightly frozen, too. I just have a fear of overcooked, dried out turkey, so it's a balancing act, I suppose.

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For Christmas, my dear husband gave me a beautiful red leather jacket and a lovely watch. I also got a gift certificate to the local yarn store from my mom. Yay!

I have been fascinated by beer bread lately, and my husband found this. It's the mix, and you just add a beer or ginger ale:



I can't believe I don't have a black scarf, but I need one for my new red jacket. Unfortunately, my Liesel scarf is coming along very slowly. I barely have two feet. I may have to buy a cheapo one for now.



I also nearly completed one of the Bittersweet Teak Gauntlets from "Boutique Knits."

The completed piece looks like this:



Then you fold it and sew up the side, leaving a hole for the thumb. After that, it needs a seed stitch band around the wrist. Here it is folded, but not sewn.



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I had set this tiny tree on the floor for a few minutes because it was in my way. My cat seemed to think it was just her size and sat very cutely by it for some time. Of course, as soon as I grabbed the camera, she started to book it, but I almost caught her looking up very adorably.



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Today is the day after Christmas, and it's snowy and windy out. In Albuquerque, we are sort of scared of snow. But I really want to go out and do some shopping, and it's not sticking yet. Nothing fancy, and the Cottonwood area is right by my house. I also thought of stopping by Savers. I have discovered that if you are willing to hunt, you can find some great secondhand clothes. I recently got a really well-made Ann Taylor embroidered and pleated skirt for $5.99.

Christmas orders

I've had some Christmas orders keeping me busy, which is great!
Here are a few I finished up over the past few days:



I took Wednesday off so I could sew, sew, sew. Mostly because I'm burned out at work and needed to do something else for a day.